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a walk to remember
2003-01-28 at 11:24 p.m. and in a wide sea of eyes i see one pair that i recognize..and i know that i am, i am, i am the luckiest. i love you more than i have ever found a way to say to you. next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep.. and his wife, she stayed for a couple of days and passed away..i'm sorry i know that's a strange way to tell you that i know we belong i just had the most perfect night. i didn't go out, didn't talk on the phone except with mitch for a little bit...i just read. i read the most beautiful book i'll probably ever read. i don't know how many people have seen the movie A Walk to Remember, but I was fairly dissapointed in the movie, so I assumed the book could only be worse. i was bored and saw the book lying on my coffee table and i picked it up and began to read. the movie is nothing at all like the beautiful story that the book has to tell. i finished it in a few hours, and i have never pictured something so perfectly in my head. that book is exactly what love should be, and was the most encouraging and beautiful thing i have ever read. woo, just needed to get that out. i have still have tears going down my cheek from it. and the best part for me is that everything in that book is exactly how i feel right now. i only wish it were a few more years down the road so i could just marry him. i know most people, if not all people, reading this will laugh it off as another stupid relationship. but, after reading this book, i am completely convinced that it is possible. we talked about that tonite, as we have before, and writing it all down here would never do it justice. the only way i can think of to explain it is to tell you to read the book. i would apologize for seeming outrageous, but i can't. he understands why i love writing, he's listened to me explain it during many conversations. he is always the first person to encourage me to do what i want, and reassure me that i am capable of anything. he understands my fear of being like my parents, reassures me i will never be like that, and tells me stories of how in love his parents are because he knows it makes me happy. he watched my eyes to understand what i'm saying or not saying. he understands that when i cuddle a little bit closer or squeeze his hand that im saying so much. he realized he loved me the second he met me, and knew i would fall in love as well. he understand me better than i do myself, and knows what i need when i dont. he explains things to me, the simplest of things, and opens me up to something new every day. he finishes my sentences. he lets me talk about the grossest of things with him, and accepts me for all i am. he refuses to let me get mad at him. he reminds me that anything is possible, and not to worry so much. he explains that loving me means loving me with all my flaws, and loving me for them. he makes me french toast. he reminds me daily that i am part of his family, and that not only does he love me but his family does as well. he's my best friend. he understands why i cry over silly songs, and tries to catch my tears when im crying. he notices things about me i didn't think anyone noticed. he makes me laugh always, and keeps me smiling. he patiently waits for me to get over bad moods and talk again. he let me have a fake wedding with him, matching rings and all. he helps pay for tampons, but then tosses them into a snowbank and throws me over his shoulder and spins me. he understands why i call first thing when i wake up in the morning. he always laughs when i apologize, and always says its ok, even when it shouldn't be. hes never once made me doubt his love, and even when i do, just to test him, he patiently finds a way to explain it all to me again. i love him. i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. i love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so i love you because i know no other way than this; where i does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as i fall asleep.
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