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counting on nothing
2003-09-15 at 8:42 p.m. and if i lived a thousand years you know i never could explain the way i lost my heart to you that day. but if destiny decided i should look the other way...then the world would never know the greatest story ever told. and did i tell you that i love you, just how much i really need you...tonight im alive. and im going to stay alive, as much as it didn't seem possible yesterday. i haven't heard from him today as he promised and i wont call him. i want to give him whatever space it is that he needs. my mind goes between being fine and being miserable. i explained the circumstances to a couple girls i recently met at school and the first thing they asked is if there's another girl. i adamately answered no, because he told me that that wasn't the case at all. and ive never not believed him as he has never lied to me. but, still, that idea is just a reason for fresh tears. wednesday im going to go with tony to geneseo to visit with christina for the nite. by the time im back thursday mitch will be gone on his college visits until sunday. i hope i talk to him before that, but im not counting on anything anymore. i guess that sums it up. im not going to count on anything anymore. im all out of faith.
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