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fields of gold
2003-04-26 at 6:29 p.m. and i swear in the days still left, we will walk in fields of gold i had the most pleasant surprise today at work. i went to check my phone and christina had called me. i was soo excited to hear her voice on my voice mail. then, as i was leaving, i saw tony who is also home! i had never been so happy to see all my friends. i missed them all so much. it reminded me how much fun they all really are, how much i love each and ever one of them. and, it brings me back to two entries ago. i missed them so much, not just from two weeks of absence, but an entire year. i've said it before, but i mean it even more now, if i could re-do any year it would be my junior year. i was so completely happy...always something to do, well loved by all. i miss my boys so much, its incredible. i miss the drunken weekends, i miss being the coolest chick of them all. i can't wait for this summer. this summer i will not take them for granted..i will enjoy every last second i have with them. they've known me much longer than mitch, they loved me before he did, they accepted me for me long before he was a thought in my head. the memories with them almost seemed to never have really happened as of lately, but i recall them so clearly now. what i wouldn't give to relive last year again and again for the rest of my life. this year was such a dissapointment, mostly my own fault. and im left to question how you make up for an entire year. how do i fill that huge gap that i myself created. now, i am left to ponder what to do with all of this. i have a few apology letters to write, that's for sure. i have many phone calls to make. i have groveling to do, hugs to give, drinks to share. i have a life to share with the most amazing people. i have fields of gold to wander or run through with them.
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