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flippin my shit
2004-01-14 at 9:51 p.m. you are about to experience first hand what i meant a few entries ago when i said words are only temporary and i am quick to change my mind. i did my little bit of crying, and it's on to being mad. the balance between the two has evened out nicely...less time for crying, more time for being mad, and then being so mad that i get over it. i need to be in florida right now. i don't even know what it holds for me, but i do know it's hundreds of miles away. the pure bliss of that sentence is causing me to read it over and over. hundreds of miles. away. away from people, places, and things. away from this god damn mother fucking cold weather and shitty driving conditions. it took me a half hour to get to school tonight only to have a boring class where some weirdo gave me his "A-I-M name" (say AIM!!) and told me to "use it some time" and then scuttled away. away from the horrible book store that gives you no money when you bring your books, but jacks up the prices for anything you have to buy. away from the teachers who think $70 worth of books for a single class is acceptable. away from boyfriends, or whatever the fuck they are, who don't seem to comprehend SHOWING someone you love them, and that it's not just me being selfish and expecting presents. an email, a surprise phone call, a phone call after a fight. anything. away from my house that smells like dog recently. away from this god damn computer and this diary. away from my worthless piece of shit cell phone. away from temptation. away from heavy sweaters, specifically wool ones. away from any real responsibility. closer to alcohol. closer to my older brother. closer to palm trees and the ocean. closer to being sane and warm. closer to the equator. closer to how far away i want to be permanently. closer to more alcohol. i am this close to flipping my shit completely. oh the power of a vacation.
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