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hottie cacciotti
2003-06-08 at 7:59 p.m. so mr. adam cacciotti went ahead and talked to me tonite. its been too long...far too long. thing is when i talk to him im right back to being a nervous 14 year old girl, in love with an 18 year old. now im 17 and he 21, and my stomach still does the same flip it always used to. only now its out of habit. i do miss him though, and we made plans to hang out when he gets back from boston. i worked all day today, and then came home and worked some more. wrote one hell of a shitty poem for creative writing, and typed a bullshit government "community service reflection" essay. god, its so hard to explain but everytime i talk to adam a whirl wind of thoughts begins to form. and right now i am thinking about graduation and school ending and then he pops in for a hello and i have a huge brain fart. i guess its that when i talk to him im reminded of exactly who i want to be, who i used to be, what i want in life, what people mean to me. my mind is such a mess now. it sounds as if i still have my crush on him, which, no, i dont. its just...something else. something i cant explain. i wish christina were here now, she can always pin point what this means. i really could use a drunken day at the beach rolling down sand dunes with him, amy, jordan, and lindsay. god that part of my life seems so far away, although they are the memories i loved most. i miss my 20 and older friends.
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