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nite nite writings
2003-07-15 at 12:38 a.m. i haven't been able to fall asleep well at all lately. it sucks. so i figured i might as well sit here and write something in hopes that it bores me into sleep... work sucked. the highlight of it was actually seeing steve because things between us just seemed so cool. i talked to him online later for a little while. i've wanted "peace" with us for so long now and i've finally reached it. all our shit is finally in the past, and i was able to ask the stupid questions like 'how is your life?' that i've been wanting to ask for months now. we both seemed to have grown up so much in the last year. funny thing was i wanted to talk to him about us; how we used to be. it just seems so long ago, and i wanted to see if he remembers the things i do. this didn't seem like his favorite subject to discuss, so i dropped it. no alterior motives, it just that he and i are the only people that know that how ever many months of our lives. and talking to him made me love mitch all the more. the fact that mitch could have been sitting right next to me during the whole conversation, rubbing my back, smiling with me as so much anger melted away. and i love that he supports everything that i do, that he's my opposite..my best friend. i dont know what i'll do for the two weeks without him while he's in n. carolina...he's boyfriend, sex toy, and best friend all rolled into one. and what a delicious combination that is! which brings me to my next subject of conversation (?) lets evaluate my current situation, shall we? i can't have sex until my next period so i can see if its my nerves or my body making me so off track. mitch goes away right as my period is supposed to come, so there's two more weeks of nothingness. now, i am by no means a horn dog, but it just sucks to not have him for that long. sucks sucks sucks. i have wants and needs. :( food and friends just isn't going to cut it for an almost 2 month drought. perhaps i should find a hobby... i've heard that eating pizza before you sleep gives you weird dreams. i wish i had remembered this before i had eaten three nectarines and two slices of pizza in the last hour. i always seem to end up having weird dreams when i eat pizza. damn it. now im not just wired, but im fearing the dreams im going to have.
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