|
reconstruction
2004-02-26 at 4:35 p.m. I am old enough to understand that when someone walks away, they're always going to come back. And if they don't come back...they were never really there. i know that quote is similar to "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was." but, i read it entirely different. because, i've noticed that there have been people i expected to leave and come back that didn't. and there have been people i whole-heartedly expected to never see or talk to again, who did. i can't help but feel abandoned by him. feelings change, words are said that you mean at the time, but not later. i understand that. but i can't understand going against everything you ever promised. best friends. soul mates. meant for each other. out of all of those, taking away the best friends part hurt me the most. because i realize now that words really are just words to some people. promises too. i feel betrayed. i built such a wall around me and to have someone work so hard to tear it down, really get a good look at it, and then leave is something i can't come to terms with. but, worst of all, what he's done since he's left has made me put up those same walls all over again. and i sort of liked being free. and i sort of liked baring it all. and i just don't want to need someone else to fix that.
previous & next
|
|