lovely shade of red
2004-03-31 at 2:05 p.m.

i am obviously ridiculously sick. i also obviously had two tests today, which i tried to make it to, but ended up having my dad turn around (he had to drive me because my head is so fucked up) and take me home.

i sound like a 75 year old male smoker. sleep is an inattainable prospect. i puked what appeared to be blood and tissue last night. i also left some insane message on mitch's voicemail telling him what a horrible person he is. stupid stupid stupid.

but, my God, everything has been sucking enough...did i really have to get sick? honestly. because im bouncing between crying about how much my throat, head, body hurt and crying about everything with mitch. i just don't want to cry or hurt anymore. so i need mitch to die and i need to not be sick.

there's a new movie out with jim carrey called eternal something or other. anyways, the premise of the story, from what i've heard, is that new technology allows a woman to erase the memory of her ex. someone needs to invent that machine. i am honestly at the point where i wouldn't mind erasing all the good stuff, because it all turns into negativity anyways.

i just want it out of my head. that's all.

but, i am dying, so i had beter go.

oh my - 2005-10-21
miss you - 2004-12-12
bye duckie - 2004-11-17
..trying to be lately - 2004-11-01
guess i'm doing fine - 2004-10-05

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