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where are you?
2004-05-11 at 12:48 p.m. sometimes i feel extremely lost. and then i picture myself driving all the way to california this summer and it starts to feel like im choking. because i want to do that more than anything in this world. i want to feel myself moving miles and miles away from everything and all of you. and, just once, i want something like this to really happen. because, see, im not quite sure what im doing on this planet or in this place. and for some reason i feel like two days of travel across land with good music and no real sense of what the hell im doing will do wonders for me. because, ive found that when im doing something and not quite sure about it is when im most content. you would think it would be the opposite with me, but it's not. i just want something to make perfect sense to me. and, more than anything, i want a boy who is as crazy as me and would pick up everything and go. i say a boy because i like them better. i think that's my problem. i've started to feel like there's no one out there who feels the same way as me. when i met mitch i thought he was the type to do that with me, but now i can't even get him to skip a day of school. i want something to write about. i want someone to ride along with me after having giving work, school, family, whatever the middle finger. i need to know someone like that exists.
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