|
we're all ok.
2004-04-28 at 1:14 p.m. i would like to have some stableness in my life. i'd like to feel one way for more than an hour or so. i want things to make just a bit of sense to me. i miss life being simple. i don't want to know what it feels to puke from too much drinking. i don't want to know what it feels like to be so high and wonderful and wake up with a sore throat the next morning from it. i don't want every single one of my friends to have tried pot. i don't want all of my friends to be drinkers. i don't want to know what it feels like to have sex that makes you cry because its so wrong. i don't want one of my friends to have an STD. i don't want to know that i've had to worry about being pregnant so many times. i don't want to have taken the morning after pill because of drunken sex. i don't want to have driven home drunk with my best friend in the passenger seat. i don't want to know what a crush feels like. and, i definitely don't want to know what heartbreak feels like. i want to be happy about stupid shit. i don't want to know everything that i do. i don't want to worry about the light being gone in people's eyes. i don't want the light to be gone in mine. it scares me how much more i know now than i did 2 or 3 years ago. it scares me to have watched all of my friends experiment with drugs and alcohol and sex. it scares me that i was right there with them. if i could have anything right now i'd like to have my mom arrange a play date with my closest friends. i want to see them all as 6 year olds. i want to feel like at one point we were all okay. because i don't think most of us are. oh my - 2005-10-21 miss you - 2004-12-12 bye duckie - 2004-11-17 ..trying to be lately - 2004-11-01 guess i'm doing fine - 2004-10-05
previous & next
|
|