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back to good
2003-07-06 at 4:58 p.m. i rollerbladed 4 miles today, so i am rather proud of myself. but, then i came home and had wendy's...oops. i guess they negate each other. ah well. and im just sitting here now trying my best not to be pissed off. i was supposed to see mitch during the day today, but he hasn't called. and i know exactly what he's doing, recently when we have a problem he deals with it by not calling me when we already made plans. and i understand that he's mad at how things went last nite, but he could have the decency to call. grrr. i miss being single sometimes, so much less to worry about. it takes so much work to make a relationship good which blows. and then, as im going to my car today from the bike path i hear a guy call after me. it's bill, who i almost dated right before steve. and i just saw him last nite at a party, and then again today. we had a quick conversation, and he's just the nicest guy. it just sucked to see him then get in my car and check my phone to see if mitch called. he didn't. i was so tempted to run back after him and going running with him like he asked me to. i just get so so frustrated sometimes. i do a lot of it to myself, put so much pressure on myself to have a "perfect" relationship. i get myself worried, i get myself mad, when deep down i just want to go back to how we were 3 or 4 months ago. we never even fought until around 6 months, and here we are fighting all the time. i make myself think that i have to see him, i make myself think i need him. i just wish for one day i wasn't waiting for my phone to ring, not making plans just to sit around with him. it's just not fun anymore. why is it that my relationships can never just stay good??
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