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slut!
2003-07-06 at 11:03 a.m. hello! well, these past few days have been fun. the fourth was spent with the girlies...riana, melissa, jessica, hannah...we got all dressed up for some good eatin at olive garden. then back to rianas where we got highly intoxicated (since it was all girls we just had the stuff we wanted, it was amazing) and then off to the fireworks. we made it just in time for the grand finale, tripping, falling, and singing the entire way. we hung out for a while after and had a complete blast. yesterday was mine and mitch's nine month. i worked until 6 then we tried to make it to niagara falls. we finally got near them and changed our minds and decided to go to the aquarium. we went too far and got into the duty free. apparently you can get into the duty free, but if you try to get out they slash your tires. so, we have to cross the rainbow bridge, and we get up to the toll booth and find that we need to get a token to cross. we do this, then cross into canada. the lady at customs tells us to go left and they'll let us pass. we go left and are on a one way road deeper into canada. we have to find a way back to the bridge, we do and end up in the line where the guy has everyone open their trunks and checks everything. we also ended up right behind a car full of foreigners. we finally got back across, got to the awuarium and it was closed. we got lost on the ride home and were turning around and mitch backed into a guardrail with his dads new acura. not good, not good at all. and i felt terrible because it was my idea to go and none of it worked out. we onoly managed to see the falls when we were crossing back into the u.s. we went back to his house then, didn't tell his dad, and i ended up getting mad at him about past people that he's slept with, but in the end came out looking like the idiot. i can't help it if the idea that he's been with other people, people he wasn't dating, really really upsets me. hes mine and i have him, and i dont want to think that anyone else has had him like i have. i dont like trying to picture these other girls. and now he's going back to the outer banks in n. carolina this year where he had sex with a girl last year that he's known since he was little. i was supposed to come, but his parents said no, so i am left alone for two weeks wondering whether one nite he will get so intoxicated that he cheats on me. and then i asked him if it would bother him if i had been with other people and he said "no, because that's your past and i know you love me and just me." well lets just say i had sex with steve, he wouldn't be happy at all and would probably ask about it or compare himself to it. so what a bunch of bullshit. i lost my virginity to him, and when i did that he had already been with three other people. and that bothers me even if i know that none of them really meant anything. but maybe that makes it worse, that two of them were old friends, and the third some girl he had completely drunken sex with at a party while he thought he was broken up with his girlfriend. she didn't think they were broken up with and he never told her what he did. and, see, im so curious about these girls, but whenever i bring it up it ruins the nite. maybe im just overly jealous. i know that what we have far surpasses anything he has ever had with anyone, and i know how devoted he is, i know how loyal he is, i know how in love he is with me. it just hurts sometimes..
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