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comfort item
2003-06-19 at 12:22 p.m. maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me. and after all, you're my wonderwall.. good mornin. i for once slept in, and until 11:27. it was great. last nite i went and saw finding nemo with greg and marc, then over to larry's for a bit. and i realized a lot about myself. i also realized that i had forgotten a lot of the reason i didn't hang out with everybody as much. i always figured that it was because i got a boyfriend, but as i hang out more and more i remembered it was more. i just never had something so important to go to when things weren't good with my friends. i forgot that everyone is shady and talks behind everyones back, i forgot that their nights revolved around drug and alcohol and that its hard for me to say no, i forgot that i always felt like i had to compare myself to melissa or riana or jessica, and i forgot that when i was out sometimes all i wanted to do was leave because i felt like i was choking. but thats not something you explain to a large group of friends, so i suppose i will go back into hiding for a little while. submerse myself in mitch, for he is my comfort item. and i realized that last nite. i have "comfort" people. they are hannah and mitch. occasionally this list includes missy and christina, but they're not around as much. but mitch and hannah are the two people who are there for everything, understand everything...love me despite everything. i have such anxiety problems, where i get so nervous going out and doing things. usually if i venture out with mitch or hannah there's a hand there for me to hold if i get nervous. i guess im not in the mood to be writing all this right now.
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