done
2004-03-24 at 8:03 p.m.

and im alright on my own, and then i met you

i was reading something jenessa wrote about her boyfriend today and it made me so sad. because, i was there. and a little part of that still lives in me. when i kiss him i remember thinking to myself that those would be the last lips i would ever kiss...and that that was ok.

i found out today that he is definitely going to bingimton. and i looked him in the eyes and told him how happy i was for him and he blinked back and asked really? and i pretended to squirm around on his bed to get situated and said yes again, without looking at him in the face. because i've never lied to him before.

because i don't want him to go away. i wanted to marry him and i wanted him to love me more and more every day and i wanted him to stay here because he can't live without me. nowhere along the way did i count on him falling out of love with me.

i obviously saw him today. and he sat on his bed smiling at me telling me how he's found himself again. he's back to being mitch. and he's happy again and really is the same old mitch. and he complained about his arms and i said that i loved his arms and he replied that that was why he loves me. because i love the things about him that he doesn't. leave it at that. and then he told me to start planning the perfect date, because he never gave me my christmas gift. and he planned on spending friday with me, i was unaware, and am babysitting. he's going to come to babysitting.

i don't think i can write any more about this. sometimes it hurts too much.

oh my - 2005-10-21
miss you - 2004-12-12
bye duckie - 2004-11-17
..trying to be lately - 2004-11-01
guess i'm doing fine - 2004-10-05

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