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future
2003-05-19 at 2:56 p.m. its sitting by the overcoat, the second shelf, the note she wrote that i cant bring myself to throw away. and im sorry she said for no one else but you, cuz you wont turn away when someone else is gone. im sorry about the attitude i need to give when im with you, but no one else will take this shit from me. and im so terrified of no one else but me, im here all time, i wont go away. it's me. i can't get myself to go away. it's me. i can't get myself to go away, oh god i shouldnt feel this way now. reach down in your pocket, pull out some hope for me..it's been a long day. i was thinking today about how i dont have any idea what will happen with me and mitch next year. i am moving on to college and he will still be in high school. and i wonder if im going to feel tied down if i stay with him. i wonder if im going to feel like im stuck back in high school forever if we stay together. i've set such high expectations for us that it can only really go down hill. and i get so scared because im happy right now, but i dont know if this will make me happy 4 or 5 months from now. i guess i have been very naive, thinking it would all last perfectly forever. i dont want to wake up knowing i shouldn't be with him. and this all seems silly to be writing about, because its all speculation. so, there, im done. im in love with the lyrics at the top of this entry, they describe me perfectly.
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