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cant come up with anymore life sucks subjects
2003-09-26 at 5:06 p.m. another wonderful day. josh came home last nite, which was actually good. i visited with him for a bit, studied, and then tried to sleep. instead of sleeping though i watched the video i made mitch twice. didn't cry or get sad, just stared blankly at the screan. i finally started to fall asleep and jerrel called, around 12:15. and i dont want to lead him on. he seems really interested, but i dont even know if im right about that. hes so nice, but not exactly my type (not mitch.) and hes just so smart, and he understands me really well. but i hate that right now, because he gets every part of what im explaining to him. my friends of 7 and 8 years can't understand, and some guy i meet a few weeks ago has it all figured out. anyways, so i went to school at 8 for world civ recitation. i was going to skip, but decided to go and of course she didn't give us a quiz or attendance. so, i just studied until my next class at 11. while in that class my mom called my phone and left a message telling me i filled out a loan form wrong, so we owe $800 extra dollars on my tuition. wonderful. i come home after this, pissed off at the world. come downstairs to see gina's away message which says something along the lines of "the two hottest people on earth (taryn and mitch) are asleep on my floor after a night of drinking...i wonder what we did last night in our drunken stupor..." oh, i dunno, maybe someone gave him head, or he went down on one of you? or, even more likely, he had unprotected sex with someone. im curious as to which it is. he's ridiculously dirty. was until the day i met him, and has probably gone right back to his ways. get a few more std's, asshole. and i hate her too. ive always hated her, and her oversized ass. mostly, i just hated today. i went back in the afternoon for two exams...one which i think did good on, the other horrible. and my mom keeps asking me if im ok, and i dont fucking want to talk about it. IM NOT OK. dont fucking ask when its so obvious that im not. each day, on the drive to school, right before i make the turn onto the highway to get to ub i pause and think about going straight and letting that take me wherever it goes. i just want to get to a point where my phones out of service, and im away from everything, and can be happy knowing that i said "fuck you" to every responsibility i had that day. i just want to be ok. i want to be happy with my life. i know this isn't where im suppoed to be in life. im not supposed to be here, doing the things i do each day.
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