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can i get some spice?
2002-11-26 at 2:26 p.m. i cant begin to express how much i just want to graduate. a diary entry can never fully express how much i crave to break away, but ill sure try... its not even that high school is all that bad, because i know its not. its just, i've grown out of it. i laugh at the way they treat us at school. today in sociology we're watching a movie that we're supposed to write a paper on, and we're supposed to be viewing it as sociologists, and it comes to a part where someone is giving road-head and the sub gets up and fast forwards it. its a class made up of juniors and seniors and she thinks thats necesary? personally, i think that expresses her own immaturity. and, stupid things like monitoring the halls so we get to class on time. yea, so we can get there and sit while the teachers scratch their butts and try and take attendance? its a waste of time. i know we need discipline and routine to keep things in order, but come on. next year we all go to college and i dont think south has done very much to prepare me in any way. im not saying its there job to either, but at least treat us like we're a little bit older than 5. it drives me crazy. also, i just want to get away from the same people day in and day out. no matter how hard you try its next to impossible to break away from the social status that has become your definition. now, when i go somewhere where no one knows me i am the person i want to be. at school i gave up trying, its no use. i just wanted to go to canisius and live in my dorm and be my happy little self. i don't need the dumb parties, or the drama, or the dumb relationships, or the petty fights. im ready to take on the world and leave behind all these people i barely even know. and thats the funny thing, i've gone to school with some of these people since nursery school, and i know very little more about them now than i did then. i just want to go on to a new beginning. i discussed taking a semester off with my mom yesterday. she says if i have enough money and what not i can take off a semester to travel. im thinking i'd do it spring semester sophomore year. i dont even need to leave the country, id love to go to california for a while, be a beach bum, live in a shitty apartment, and be a waitress. and thats my dream. shitty, eh? id love it. id love every second of it. i've come to realize i crave independence and solidarity. i love being along and unbothered and self-sufficient. i just lack the opportunities to do so. *sigh* and so my days continue...get up, go to school, come home, work, bed, etc. etc. id love a little spice in my life right about now....
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