|
to eat or not to eat
2003-10-26 at 9:16 a.m. i got up early this morning so mitch and i could go work out before he started work at 11. he never called. never showed up. never called last nite like he said he would either. possibly hes pissed because i told him that i would stop by work, but instead went and hung out jerell, and did what i wanted. argh. i give up. and he asks what i mean when i say he dissapoints me all the damn time. use that stoner brain of yours, i know you can. i guess i just wanted to bitch about that. hannah asked me to go to fredonia the weekend jerell invited me to nyc. and i really dont think i should go with jerell...i dunno. i might give in easier if there wasn't the fredonia option, because id being going with hann to see elise...people i know. he's taking me out to breakfast this morning. but i just feel dumb now because i told him that i was working out first and then we'd go. i joked that he was making me fat by taking me out for all this food and he was like "well, you're working out in the morning!" and i agreed, but my heart sank. i think i knew even then that he wouldn't remember. so i just somehow feel like a loser going out to eat with him now. i dont want to blow him off, but i just cant sit through a breakfast when i was supposed to be with mitch, but he's obviously the shitty boyfriend/exboyfriend who ditched me, and here i am with jerell, whose obviously so much more thoughtful of my feelings, eating the breakfast he bought for me. mitch would never buy me breakfast because i wouldn't let him, but i always hoped that he might really say no for once, and not just for something that cost a few bucks, and pay the bill. in fact, id probably be paying for both of our meals, cuz thats just how it went. i am so frustrated. why does he treat me like this? or, more accurately, why do i allow him to treat me like this?
...and you let me way down, every time
previous & next
|
|