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this is yolaaaanda vega
2004-02-16 at 7:38 p.m. i went to one class today. i had four classes. this is not a good thing to be doing. i don't know what it is that makes me so god damn lazy. i also need to confess to something i did on valentine's day. it reeked of stupidity. my friends and i found a website that deaf people can use to make phone calls. basically, you go online and you get a live operator who calls whatever number you enter, and she speaks to the person saying whatever you type. so, we called people we don't like. we called people we're mad at. we called people as only 4 bitterly single girls can do on valentine's day. mistake number one: i "called" a man named charlie who works with me. he's 48 and constantly hits on me, but really a nice guy. he gave me his cell phone number in case of an "emergency". first i said i wanted to buy a car. he asked who it was, and i responsded yolanda vega. for everyone not from buffalo, yolanda vega is (was?) an extremely annoying woman who reads off the numbers on the balls for the lottery. she introduces herself as "yolaaaaanda vega!" and, at least in my family, she was a bit of a running joke. i told him i liked him. he explained he didn't know a yolanda vega and got off the phone. melissa, fellow partner in crime, called me from work today to tell me that charlie asked her if she knew any deaf people. somehow he knew it was us. i played a practical joke on my 48 year old coworker. i'm 18, and a complete asshole. mistake number two: i called mitch's work. being that it's over the internet i don't know who answered, but it's usually him who does. i ordered 5 pizzas with anchovies, pineapple, and sausage (LOTS of sausage, as i brilliantly said) i explained that i was coming in to pick them up, and they asked for a number. first i gave them my work number. don't ask me why. he knows my work number. i realized this and explained that no, that was the wrong number. i gave them another number, which was mitch's number with one number different. a 2 became a 1. everything else was identical. i am a fucking genius. first, i feel bad for using a deaf person's service to make phone calls. phone calls to businesses, where it's explained to them that the person is deaf, and they can't be assholes about it. but, the "deaf person" can be an asshole. second, we made the operator say "would you like to touch my penis?". third, i feel bad for being such a bitter douche-bag on valentine's day. i ooze maturity.
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